Next Level Love

THE WORK

- Create space for him! For Julia that meant re-arranging her bedroom furniture and creating some drawer space for him.

- Get to know yourself by doing the inner work. For Julia that meant healing parental relationships, connecting with her wounded inner child, acknowledging and expressing painful emotions and releasing anger that was years old.

- Connect with your desires and affirm your future. For Julia that meant writing and using affirmations on a daily basis, creating a vision board and writing a ‘man menu’. She also acknowledged to herself that it would be really nice to have companionship and someone to do DIY!

- Let go of ‘the how’. For Julia that meant being completely non-attached to outcome. She was enjoying her life and wasn’t heavily attached to having a man. She was just living her life while acknowledging her desire to be in partnership.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’

Julia’s desire was to meet someone that she already knew, had some history and commonality with and could share stories with because that felt easy for her.

After 20 years single, Julia bumped into her now boyfriend in the street and he was a colleague of hers from 30 years earlier! It was the perfect Hollywood ‘meet cute’. They met just before the pandemic and immediately went into a ‘bubble’ together and began a brand new relationship.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE

The personal development work that Julia did in the years leading up to meeting her partner has meant that :

- Her partnership is accelerating her life goals in being realised.

- She has the capacity for empathy and compassion for her man.

- She understands people and human dynamics better now.

- She can speak her truth and not take ‘his stuff’ personally.

- When she met him, he felt like a ‘comfy pair of slippers’! It has always felt easy, effortless and in flow!

I was utterly inspired by Julia and I trust you will be too!

Maya is the most joyful, light, creative and open hearted soul. I received so much from our conversation.

After a lot of heart break and another failed relationship at 39, Maya decided enough was enough, it was time to quit her patterns and call in something different and she knew the route to that was a deep dive healing journey.

Maya made a firm decision to heal her heart and liberate herself and while she felt ‘ready’ it required her courage to embark on and invest in the vulnerable work she knew she was being called to do. Her inner work, in a nutshell, looked like:

THE WORK

- Learning to trust. Maya’s heart was closed. She was an independent, strong woman who travelled the world but unable to fully open to a man.

- Activating the feminine energy. Maya was operating heavily in her masculine energy which was having a detrimental impact on her relationships with men because she didn’t know how to receive. Opening up to her feminine was an absolute game changer in all areas of her life.

- Making the space. Decluttering and cleaning her home, making it ready for the arrival of her man.

- Emotional expression. A lot of crying to clean her heart!

- Healing the inner child. A powerful route to true self love.

- Mindset. Choosing beliefs that communicated self worth, self love and trust in men.

- Gratitude & vision. Maya wrote a vision in the form of a letter of gratitude in which she thanked him for his loveable qualities.

- Feeling good became her new focus!

THE ‘MEET CUTE’

Maya and her man met on Tinder! They were already Facebook friends and recognised each-other instantly. He is a very public figure (health expert, writer and chef) and someone Maya already had great respect for.

Their dating process felt natural, easy, effortless, safe and like coming home.

It was the passing on of Maya’s cat and the way that her man showed up for her and supported her through that very emotional experience at the vet clinic that showed Maya this was a man she could really trust. She felt his fullest support and melted into trusting him.

They decided that the day Maya’s cat went to heaven was their anniversary date and they have just celebrated 3 years together.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE

The personal development work that Maya did in the years leading up to meeting her partner has meant that :

- She has a relationship that is better than she could have ever dreamed

- They can communicate openly and without blame

- She is open and able to fully receive him and allow him to take care of her

- She has a friend to travel with and who wants to take her to all the parts of the world she desires to visit

- She has a very masculine, strong man that is incredibly sensitive and loving

- They have deep mutual respect and admiration

I was so inspired by Maya and I trust you will be too!

THE TURNING POINT

After the end of her marriage at the age of 48, Jeanne dropped into a depression and leaned heavily on food and alcohol to avoid having to feel her grief. She hadn’t expected her marriage to end and it coincided with physical and emotional shifts of peri-menopause that she didn’t understand and which took her completely by surprise.

After a week of soul searching, she decided she would not end her life as a 300 pound woman that sat in the house wearing a muumuu.

She committed to getting healthy and happy which in a nutshell, looked like:

THE WORK

- Get healthy! Eating right, getting active and prioritising her body!

- Get happy! Jeanne’s focus was on feeling good about who she was and falling in love with herself so that she could be the person that could be in love with someone else.

- Activating the feminine energy. For Jeanne this looked like allowing someone else to take care of her, to open her heart and receive support instead of doing ‘it all’.

- Healing the inner child. As an adopted person, Jeanne turned a life-long fear of rejection around through deep self love.

- Redefining relationships. Learning your attachment style and finding new, healthy ways to create friendship, safety and support inside a relationship.

- Feeling good became her new focus! Jeanne received a sense of accomplishment from taking up new and different adventure sports which had her choose to put herself first, without guilt.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’

Jeanne took up white water kayaking and met her man on the river!

She described him as ‘the last 56 year old bachelor’ with a strong sense of self and he got her interest because he was so attentive to her safety and wellbeing as she started out on her adventure sport journey.

It was their experience of Hurricane Katrina that really brought them together as they both realised it was safe to rely on each other though that devastating time.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE

The personal development work that Jeanne did before meeting her partner has meant that :

- She is committed to the relationship and has called in a man who is equally committed for the long haul

- She is now fully available to learn, heal and grow with her man, together

- She has the stamina to get through life’s discomforts and curve balls, together with her man

- She could co-write a book with her husband!

I was so inspired by Jeanne and I trust you will be too!

I have come to know that life is always supporting us. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Especially when it doesn’t feel like it! As a soul having a human experience, we are always being invited to heal anything that doesn’t serve us or to use the tough stuff as an awakening or a remembering of who we truly are.

Life’s curve balls can remind us just how powerful we are.

Relationships tend to be an area where we can painfully lose ourselves and proudly find ourselves again. They offer immense spiritual and personal growth, if we are up for it!

This was Tiffany’s experience and I am so glad to share our ‘Next Level Love’ interview with you.

THE TURNING POINT:

Tiffany entered her first marriage at 24 as a deeply religious woman with very narrow and restrictive beliefs around what a marriage ‘should’ look like. She tried to be the perfect wife and mother but was dying inside.

She lost her sense of self, felt demeaned, experienced financial abuse and through adhering to ‘traditional’ gender roles found herself playing smaller and smaller until she realised she didn’t want to model that to her children.

She decided to end her co-dependent and narcissistic relationship which kick-started a high conflict divorce that is still, 9 years on, not quite complete.

Tiffany knew what she didn’t want in her next relationship but was unclear on what she did want because she had spent so little time in connection with herself and her truth.

Mostly, she didn’t even believe something else was possible for her.

She was drawn to deep inner work to discover her self love and self worth which moved her into a place of believing that she could experience a next level love.

THE WORK:

Embrace living consciously - Tiffany believes we are here to discover, experience, learn and grow. We are called to ask questions and seek new answers all the time. In Tiffany’s words, her marriage and divorce were, “The worst but the best thing that ever happened to me”.

Commit to self sovereignty - Tiffany’s self love and self worth journey had her re-build and replenish her identity which meant she no longer compromised herself.

Speak your truth - learn to ask for what you want and say what you mean clearly, unapologetically and authentically.

Overcome co-dependency - a process of spiritual, mental and emotional maturation.

Get intentional - through a process of re-defining herself and what an intimate relationship meant to her, Tiffany set a powerful intention to call in an egalitarian relationship.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

Tiffany changed her Facebook status and a friend she had known since childhood reached out to offer his support. He wanted to be there for her. Turned out, he was her one!

She had a lot of healing left to do and he offered a safe and supportive space in which to heal, learn her boundaries, experiment with speaking her truth and asking for her needs to be met. As much as Tiffany was healing on her own, this new relationship offered her an incredibly safe place to practice being in a relationship in a very new and empowering way.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

Tiffany has never believed that love is a difficult thing to find. Her fundamental core belief has always been that ‘love is abundant and around every corner’ and that belief had her call in a man that became a huge part of her healing journey.

The personal development work that Tiffany did combined with the healing she did with her partner has meant that :

- There is a mutual trust that they want the best for each-other

- They have a healthy independence of each-other - it doesn’t ‘mean’ anything if they want to do different things

- They have an equal partnership

- They experience the bliss of duality - having everything we need within ourselves while also having a partner that adds to your life and enables continued growth and evolution

- They experience deep comfort together - in Tiffany’s words, “like putting on a favourite pair of jeans!”

I was so inspired by Tiffany and I trust you will be too!

When we dare to put our stake in the ground and declare what we want, we are heard. The Universe has eyes and ears!

A powerful way to state our intentions is to create a vision board. My vision boards have been an incredibly powerful tool to call in all sorts of miracles (including my man) and my ‘Next Level Love’ interview guest, Maryon Stewart, shared with me how her vision boards created ‘unthinkable’ miracles.

THE TURNING POINT:

Maryon was happily married for 24 years with 4 children. As is so common in mid-life, Maryon and her husband realised they were no longer on the same journey and separated amicably.

Health challenges moved Maryon to learn a method of self healing through art therapy. She experienced a medical miracle which meant she avoided having major surgery. This miraculous experience had Maryon return to the coach that taught her how to self-heal where she learned

how to manifest through visioning and create vision boards.

Her first vision board had her experience miracle after miracle. She manifested the sale of a business she no longer wanted, a gorgeous dream home, incredible support and a new school for her son, a dog and more. You’ll have to watch the video to hear the story. It’s jaw-dropping!

She was understandably ‘sold’ on the power of visioning.

Next, she wanted to meet a man that was her true life match. She was ready!!

THE WORK:

- Dare to dream - in Maryon’s words, “If you don’t know your destination, how do you know when you’ve arrived?”. You must connect to your desires and what you want so the Universe can deliver what your heart desires.

- Keep the faith - Maryon would look up at the stars in the sky, knowing that he was seeing the same stars. “I just knew he was out there”, she said. She also knew he wasn’t in the same country!

- Divine timing - Maryon went on 100 first dates so persistence and trust in divine timing was key. Trusting also that your route to receiving what you desire may take unusual and unexpected twists and turns and it may take longer than you hope - but it will be worth it!

- Mindset - your vision will bring up the voices of doubt and it’s your work to overcome those fears and move forward. Sometimes you’ll get rejected and disheartened. Allow the pity party, be kind to yourself and then move on!

- Hold the vision - allow yourself to ‘step into’ your vision every day so that it feels like your reality. When Maryon finally met her man, she literally had to pinch herself regularly because she wasn’t sure if her life was real or if she was still visioning it!

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

You’ll have to watch the video to hear the full and dramatic story of how Maryon met her man. There were so many twists and turns! One guy lead to another guy which lead to a trip to Israel which lead to another guy which lead to meeting some famous people at a London networking party which lead to a trip to Florida and then, finally, she met her guy.

Every single step of the way the Universe was guiding her to him.

They met for the first time in the lobby of a hotel on New Years Eve. So romantic! As Maryon entered the reception area she saw a dark haired man in the distance with his back to her wearing a white shirt and black trousers. She knew instantly it was him.

She said she was shaking and felt almost hysterical because she ‘knew’ he was ‘the one’. She didn’t usually like men touching her on a first date but he took her hand instantly and they walked out of the hotel together, hand-in-hand, feeling that they’d known each-other forever.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

Maryon has been with her man for 8.5 years and they’ve been married for 5. They live in a stunning apartment on the beach in Florida - Maryon always knew she wasn’t meant to live in the UK!

The powerful visioning work she committed to every single day has her in a relationship where:

* he tells her he loves her every day

* they never fight

* he buys her flowers every week

* they are both focussed on all the positives and pinch themselves regularly because they can’t believe how lucky they are!

I was so inspired by Maryon and I trust you will be too!

Having inspiring role models is really helpful when we are on an empowerment journey and today I have just that role model for you!

THE TURNING POINT:

April wasn’t looking for ‘something better’, she was ready to meet the man that matched the woman she was now - because she had changed.

She had been in a relationship for 28 years. They met when she was 19 and were married until April was 49. They amicably decided that their relationship was over and I just love how April is able to speak with such warmth and respect for her ex-husband who is now her friend and co-parent.

While their divorce was amicable there was still a lot of pain - after-all they entered marriage thinking it would last forever and had two amazing children together. April began a journey of fully grieving her loss and did a deep dive into personal development.

THE WORK:

Inner work - April embarked on a year long personal development course which focussed on all aspects of her life. She became her priority as she did a deep-dive into herself - fully claiming herself and no longer just being a mother or wife.

Taking responsibility - April owned where she had failed in her marriage and embraced her responsibility for that which was a very empowering journey.

Fun - April chose to date from a place of non-attachment and a desire for different experiences. She adopted a ‘circular dating’ strategy (where you date several guys at once without getting intimate and when you are ready to be intimate with one, you let go of the others) which really took the pressure off and allowed her to enjoy the process.

Gifts - April approached dating as a way of discovering herself. Every man she dated showed her something new about herself from boundaries to values to knowing and communicating her truth. Each man was a gift of growth and transformation.

Clarity of intention - April was intentional about who she was calling in. For example they needed to be ‘clean and clear’ from any previous relationships, to not have young children, to be up for having fun and to not be attached to getting married.

Empowered feminine dating - April only dated when it felt good for her. She trusted her intuition and allowed the dating to be fun and easy.

Learning to surrender - April had to drop her barriers - her shell to allowing a man in to take care of her. Traditionally she wasn’t very good at that - she is a super independent woman and had to learn that it was ok to surrender and be cared for.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

April really enjoyed Bumble as a dating platform, especially as it was so female focussed.

Their first date found them swinging on swings which was part of an art installation at the Tate Modern. They played in an art gallery and for April this was a perfect first date!

Four months into their love affair, her partner was diagnosed with cancer. This took their relationship very quickly to the next level.

“Everything else broke down and broke away other than ‘us’ and getting through this experience”, said April.

“We feel like we were sent to each other.”

Indeed they were.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

April proves that when you activate your empowered feminine, you are a vibrational match to the empowered masculine. She called in a guy who:

* feels solid

* recognises her communication challenges and is prepared to be there for her and work through them with her

* takes care of her

* has the capacity for her emotions

* allows her to be imperfect and vice versa

Together they are discovering that life is for living and every day is a gift.

“I am the love I am bringing to the relationship and he is the love he is bringing to the relationship. Love isn’t something that I suck out of him and he sucks out of me”, says April.

“Love is a choice. He chooses me. We each choose ourselves.”

I was so inspired by April and I trust you will be too!

Sam had attracted in some ‘bad people’ (to use her language) and as a result experienced domestic abuse, violence and trauma which also impacted her young children.

Sam’s story is incredibly inspiring because she models so powerfully that it IS possible to change your patterns, build self esteem, heal from trauma and be an incredible role model to your children.

When you take full responsibility for your energy, you can create anything you desire in your life, including soul mate love.

I made some notes for you from today’s conversation because these are nuggets I don’t want you to miss.

THE TURNING POINT:

Sam had two significant relationships with wounded men and had a child from each.

The first was a six year relationship from the age of sixteen which went on to include five years in criminal and family court. During the court proceedings she met her ‘knight in shining armour’ whom she believed had arrived to support her while she was so wounded.

What transpired was an opportunity to learn that wounded people attract wounded people and hurt people, hurt people.

When her second relationship ended she had a break-down and lost everything.

It was time to make some big changes - to be the mother and role model she desired to be to her children and to come home to herself.

Sam committed to her recovery.

“I was taking responsibility for my energy and my availability for those kind of relationships without taking responsibility for their actions, I was solely taking responsibility for my participation”, said Sam.

THE WORK:

Inner work - choosing to ‘face her own self’ and change up her patterns around relationship, healing her pieces around ‘loss’, energy healing including Reiki and masculine / feminine energy dynamics.

Taking responsibility - for her energy, her beliefs and her mistakes. In Sam’s words, “When we avoid the relationship with ourself we are the vibrational match for someone who will avoid a relationship with us.”

Emotional awareness & expression - allowing the tears, the grief and the pain. Checking in with how she was feeling and how that was determining how she was showing up in the world.

Ask for help - from the practical help of asking her Mum to have the children to the spiritual act of calling on her higher self for guidance on the inner work.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

Sam adamantly believed that online dating was a waste of time and that dating apps attracted ‘freaks and weirdos’! But her friends and family kept asking her if she would consider giving it a go and she believes that when life keeps offering your something, you have to pay attention.

So, she tried Tinder! Her intention was to prove that online dating didn’t work and attracted low level people! She was also curious….

One day she matched with someone that she didn’t recognise - because her daughter had swiped him!

You’ll have to watch the interview to hear how the first date went however despite it being far from romantic (a Starbucks inside a Sainsburys supermarket!) and started with Sam arriving very very late, it flowed naturally and four years later they are happily still together.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

Sam called in a man that was on a ‘list’ she wrote some years ago. He ticked every box - from not having children to how he looked to being ex-army to the way he is with her children and how he treats her and makes her feel.

When she wrote that list she didn’t believe it was possible to call in a man like that.

She focussed on her inner work, forgot the ‘list’ and allowed him to arrive.

She is now in a relationship that is consistently growing in a positive way with a partner who allows her to continue her healing journey and be who she is. He knows her so well, is her best friend and holds a safe container for her.

I was so inspired by Sam and I trust you will be too!

Do you know the woman you are now and do you love that woman fiercely? So much so that you are able to attract in a man that can love you in the same way for all that you are and all that you are becoming (because we are always evolving and growing, right!?).

If you are ready to really know yourself and step into a relationship with someone that is willing to grow with you, then I think you will receive a lot from the interview I hosted with Andrea Binks.

THE TURNING POINT:

Andrea met her husband and the father of her two children at the age of 18. They began a separation and then divorce in her late thirties - so they were a long time together making the end of that relationship an emotional and explosive experience for them both.

Andrea fell into victim mode and felt huge shame that her marriage had ended.

She never thought she would be happy again.

In recognition that she is not the same person now as she was when she met her husband (which was a huge contributing factor to the end of their marriage) and it was the divorce that forced here to get to know herself.

THE WORK:

Personal therapy & councelling - self reflection gave Andrea the opportunity to find herself again. Her self worth now comes from within rather than needing the approval of others. She is also less likely to people please. She re-identified her boundaries and roles in life as well as discovered that she enjoys being alone.

Healing The victim - Andrea had to learn how to take responsibility for the part that she played in the breakdown of the marriage. Awareness and acceptance of her feelings around this was a hugely therapeutic process for her.

Support - Andrea believes in the importance of receiving the support of a coach or councellor so that you can talk through and move through your problems. This professional support provides a less judgemental and more expert level of support than perhaps friends can provide. It’s also a chance to properly feel and release your emotions.

Dating - meeting guys and allowing her ‘inner goddess’ to be fully expressed was an empowering part of Andrea's journey home to herself. The attention, fun and distraction of dating was an important part of her healing process.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

Andrea wrote down all the things she wanted in a partner in her journal and added a pic of an actor she fancied. As she casually swiped her dating app she was astounded to be matched with a man that looked just like the guy she pasted into her diary!

Andrea had a very relaxed relationship with online dating so when she texted her initial introductory message it simply read, “Hey!”.

No strategy. No bells and whistles. Just, ‘hey’!

His response was equally simple and intuitively Andrea suggested they jump off the app and she shared her number with him.

“I felt drawn to him”, said Andrea about their first coffee date.

They had an immediate inner connection and still do.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

When I asked Andrea how her new relationship felt different to her marriage she said, “I feel more like me!”. She added that she is now also :

- more assertive;

- enjoys being on her own which has enabled her to set up living arrangements with her new partner that gives her plenty of time to herself and with her boys;

- able to be more fully emotionally available to her children;

- more comfortable in her own skin and able to rely on herself because her self worth has increased;

- embraces self love!

As a result her relationship is :

- super aligned with a shared outlook on life;

- very honest and committed;

- incredibly supportive and encouraging;

- full of great sex!

I was so inspired by Andrea and I trust you will be too!

THE TURNING POINT:

Clarissa had a difficult childhood with a narcissistic father that came in and out of her life and whom she and her mum were afraid of.

She lacked good male role models and learned to conform to men and to fear the masculine.

At 23 years old she married a much older man - twice her age - and while he was a good person, they were at very different life stages and there was an inequality in their relationship. On reflection, it’s easy to see that Clarissa was healing some ‘dad stuff’ in that relationship which positively lead her to feel empowered enough to break away and carve out her own path instead of being controlled (as she was by her parents growing up). She stepped up into a career that felt really aligned with her without being held back by anyone else.

It wasn’t long before she started dinner dating again and she met her second husband. He was a man with a huge personality and in the middle of a messy, acrimonious divorce. Clarissa found herself pregnant (when she was walking away from the relationship) and she decided her baby deserved a dad. She married and persisted with a relationship that was never quite right - largely from a place of obligation and doing the right thing. Unfortunately the relationship was always strained and when her husband’s business went bankrupt, it all slowly crumbled and they lost everything.

At the same time, Clarissa had a six year old, her mum deteriorated with dementia and she began a challenging journey with perimenopause.

“The rug had been pulled from under me”, reflected Clarissa.

After her mum died, she relocated to Australia and yearned for a man to save her (which we can reflect on and know isn’t a healthy energy to date from). She tried dating apps only to be met with man after man that was damaged and not available to her in some way.

Clarissa was an optimist when it came to dating in mid-life but slowly she became hardened and cynical.

Perimenopausal anxiety, exhaustion, high blood pressure and the stress of a big job lead Clarissa to mindfulness training.

THE WORK:

Mindfulness - Self reflection was key for Clarissa. She spent time reflecting on who she was, what she wanted and where she was going. Her meditation and yoga practice also became important.

Self Compassion - This was a hugely difficult journey for Clarissa. She only knew how to relate to people in a transactional way and she desired to learn to relate differently which had to start with herself.

Detox From Dating - Clarissa set the intention not to date and instead to focus on her inner work for five years. She decided that her life would no longer depend on being with someone else. She made herself the centre of her life.

THE ‘MEET CUTE’:

They met on Tinder!

Their first date was at an art gallery and involved very open and honest conversation. He shared all of himself with her - from his bi-polar disorder and various other problems he had experienced in his life.

Clarissa no longer attracted unavailable men! He was completely and instantly available to her.

They were married and now live together in a home they are renovating in Sweden.

NEXT LEVEL LOVE:

It’s so beautiful to witness how Clarissa’s journey with self compassion had her call in a relationship that required compassion from day one.

Compassion is the foundation of their relationship. Built upon this is full availability to each-other, equality, support, giving and receiving, forthright communication, spontaneity and joy.

He teaches her to speak up and set boundaries. She supports him in being fully himself. It’s a truly empowering relationship.

They continue to grow together as they experience the dance of masculine and feminine.

I was so inspired by Clarissa and I trust you will be too!