THANK GOD! I have finished the ‘Prison Break’ box-set. I can have my life back! Great escapism but I am sensing at a bit of a cost.
Life has been rather full-on lately so I have been sneakily escaping to a fantasy world of crime, romance and excitement. It started with the odd episode here and there. Then I was watching at least 2 every night – I couldn’t get onto that couch fast enough. On the weekend I indulged in several hours of it. I just HAD to see the next episode. My heart raced and my mind number out. What a buzz. What a release. What pure ecstasy. To escape my own head…..
Thing is, I think I started to lose myself a little. I was starting to feel a bit lost and empty and couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until tonight. I have honestly felt a tinge of sadness at certain points throughout the day today, each time I realised that the box-set was over. What did I have to look forward to?! Are you hearing how pathetic that is….!? Then tonight, I was mindlessly folding some washing and I suddenly felt a stirring deep inside of pure excitement. My spirit said to me, ‘Thank god! You are back!’. Yes I am! I was suddenly relieved not to be morphing with the couch tonight and excited to come and write my blog. I was excited at the opportunity to do a little design work and to go to bed early and read a good book. That is all soul-food for me and I have deprived myself of it for a week. No wonder I was feeling lost!
This has reminded me of a time when I would escape the reality of life and the reality of me by zoning out in-front of the TV. Those dreaded days before I was consciously aware and when I thought a ‘spirit’ was an alcohol you either cleaned with or drank. Before I understood the value of knowing my spirit self and staying connected with that special part of me.
An addiction is when you are physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, thing or activity and unable to stop without incurring adverse effects. Watching TV was an addiction for me. I know it sounds benign and there is no doubting some addictions are far more harmful however the end result is the same. You lose connection with the real you and that is a lonely place to be.
It is good to stay mindful of how you escape your life and your self. Far more daring and mighty to stay present. Harder at times but so much more fulfilling.
Note to self – When I get Series Two, I will not allow it to take over my life……! Balance is queen.
IMAGE COURTESY OF WILL BLACK : www.willblack.co.uk
