Well, the universe told me in no uncertain terms today to slow down. Actually, it yelled it loud and clear…. SLOW DOWN!

Seriously, when will I listen? I have had some shoulder tightness for several days but I didn’t pay it the slightest bit of attention. Quite frankly, when you are busy only the stuff that screams at you the loudest gets your attention. Lot’s of other stuff has been screaming at me loudly – child, bills to pay, work commitments etc. My shoulders were just a dull nag that was easy to ignore. Until today. I bent down to pick up my laptop and out of no-where came an absolutely excruciating pain which rendered me totally useless. Tears came instantly. I don’t remember the last time I cried out of pain. Oh actually, yes I do, when I had pneumonia last year. The other time the universe forced me to stop. I listened for a while. But, clearly old habits die hard. And here I am again, being physically forced to stop.

 

I found myself walking past a Chinese Herbalist and there was a big sign in the window – MASSAGE. Like a magnet, I was drawn inside. The place looked grotty and horrible and the last place I would usually venture into but I was desperate. I needed help immediately. Before I knew it I was having pins stuck in my back and then experienced the most excruciating massage of my life. I was sold tonics and lotions and left feeling light headed and light in the wallet. Several times during my massage the girl said to me in broken English, ‘No Pain No Gain’. Oh the irony.

 

Several people today have said the same to me. No pain, no gain. Hmmmm.

 

The pain I understand. The gain is hard to imagine just now but I am very aware that it will come if I listen and respond to what I am being told.  In fact, I am being called to be very bloody Daring and Mighty. The universe is telling me to walk my talk. A colleague today said very innocently, “Katie, you need to give yourself a bit of a break”. Little does she know how deeply those words hit me. I KNOW it. I preach it. I teach it. I have got better at it but I am still learning and it is a hard pill to swallow to admit that I still haven’t cracked it. That I am still, gulp, human. But, that’s the beauty of it. I am human. Thank god! Imperfectly beautiful. Isn’t that what I wrote about recently!? Still, I am not going to hide behind a romantic notion of imperfection. I am being challenged to do things differently, in a way that serves me much better.

 

I met a friend for dinner tonight. I was tempted to cancel and go home to rest but quite frankly I am lacking some fun in my life so I went for it and am glad I did. He also quoted the infamous words, “No pain, no gain!”. Yeah yeah, got it! While we were talking I had the strongest sense of ME. I glimpsed for a moment the real me. Truly relaxed. Happy. Having fun. Feeling fulfilled and inspired. In this vision of ‘me’ I am in a coastal location. It is warm. I am glowing and healthy. I am working with people and really, deeply helping them. I go about my business every day feeling lifted and happy and on-purpose. Everything comes to me easily because I am doing what I love and living from my heart. In a split second I saw and felt all of this. I have seen it and felt it before. I know it is how I am meant to be living my life. I know I need to make some radical changes to get to this point and they are going to take some massive leaps of faith. But, I have done it before and I can do it again. Being crippled by pain is not my idea of fun or happiness or being on purpose! Things need to change. So, watch this space.

 

While I am here I really want to thank my friends today who helped me. I was in quite a state and they jumped to my rescue. Girls, you know who you are. You are angels that rock and I am so grateful. Thank you. xx

 

Sorry, no picture. It is late….and I am trying to ‘slow down’…..!!!

 

I just turned on the radio and would you believe the song…..Maverick Sabre singing ‘I Need’ :

 

I need sunshine, I need angels, I need

Something good, yeah I need

Blue skies, I need them old times, I need

Something good, something good

Something good, yeah

Oh oh oh oh no no