I am trying to order my thoughts just now. Moments ago I was feeling fabulous. All loved up with life. Very content. Then, a work e-mail came in that I have reacted to. The e-mail was accusatory, misrepresentative and defamatory. I was immediately shocked and angry. I responded to the mail appropriately and professionally but emotionally I am reeling so thought I would write it out and get to a point of calm ‘response’ rather than super peeved ‘react’.

 

I lead a workshop called ‘Fine To Fabulous’ with Jennie HK. In the workshop, one the of the areas of discussion is the idea that we all have a choice in everything we do, think or say. We can choose to react to situations or respond to them. Right now I can see my words scrawled on the whiteboard – REACT? RESPOND?  I know the answer. A few deep breaths and I will get there.

 

Respond. Tick!

 

Hmmm, and calm is descending. Thank god.

 

I worked so hard today. Ploughed through a task list that has been begging my attention for weeks. I felt so proud of myself for having got through the list that I treated myself to a walk in the fields behind my house before going to get Finn from school. I had been hunched over my laptop for 6 hours straight and my back was nudging me for some attention. So, into the fields I went.  As I walked I couldn’t help but ponder whether I was on the right track with my business. Although I am working hard, I can’t help but wonder if I am headed in the right direction. Something is niggling me. I asked the Universe for some guidance. A sign. Anything! I came home to discover a quote on a strip of paper which I have had stuck on my fridge since May last year but which has been buried under Finn’s drawings and merit certificates. Finn decided to de-clutter the pile of artwork and awards to reveal the following:

 

“Success, prosperity and happiness follow the footsteps of unselfed motives.”  Mary Baker Eddy.

 

That quote along with the tone of the e-mail I had this-evening have combined to really get me thinking. Am I working in the right direction? On the right platform for me? Am I operating from my heart at all times? Am I really living my truth through my business? What are my motives? I will need to sit on this for a while. To react would be to throw in the towel.To respond would be, well, who knows what that will be. I am not about to quit, but I sense my purpose is being brought into question. Oh lordy lord….. I feel another heart wrenching decision coming on….! Will it ever end? The joys of living in conscious awareness. The Universe doesn’t allow you to be unconscious for a second.

 

Watch this space.