Finn & I spent the afternoon with Mama Guru and family today. The kiddies played, Papa Guru pulled veg from the garden and cooked us a roast while Mama and I gossiped and giggled with the Sunday papers, Grazia and several litres of herbal tea. A perfect Mothering Sunday!
I came across an article in one of the Sunday mags which questioned if we were all too het up about being happy. Bloody good point, I thought. This is something I do think about quite a lot, especially since starting to write this blog. It’s almost as if we are scared to admit if we aren’t having the time of our lives, if we aren’t bouncing off walls with joy and excitement. We are surrounded by self help these days, in many guises – books, blogs, films, therapists, coaches – and they are largely about helping us to be happy. I am glad of it – the abundance of resource and help available these days is brilliant. Quite frankly, to feel happy is a basic desire common to most human beings so anything to help us get there is brilliant. However, I do think it is important to allow ourselves to have bad days. Or even just average days. I run a workshop with Jennie HK called ‘Fine to Fabulous’ which is basically saying that life should be better than just ‘fine’. And it should. But sometimes, fine is ok. It’s human. In fact, that’s partly what this blog is about. Being daring and mighty isn’t about being all happy happy joy joy everyday. ‘Nor is it about being a high achiever every day. It’s about making every day count and I am striving to achieve that in my own way each day. Sometimes I tick massive things off my Bag List. Sometimes I feel able to inspire others with a personal achievement or epiphany. Sometimes it’s just about spending quality time alone or with my son. Mostly it’s about being honest about how I am feeling, high or low. It’s about living consciously, not blindly. Some people ask me if I am sure I want all my personal stuff out there for the world to read. Perhaps it will be a turn off to the guy I am dating or juicy material for gossiping mums. It doesn’t bother me. It’s just real and it’s a contribution. And, for the record, I don’t put it ‘all’ out there!
Some of my happiest, most exhilarating and life changing moments have resulted from days spent sitting with really tough stuff and feeling absolutely terrible. Allowing myself to really feel pain and sadness at points in my life has actually allowed me to be happy with more consistency and depth than ever before. Putting on a happy face every day is ridiculous if it’s not real. If you don’t feel happy, then don’t be happy. It’s fine! Admit it to yourself and those close to you. Perhaps there is something behind your unhappiness to be discovered or perhaps you are just having a flat day. Whatever it is, it’s fine. The key is to be conscious of it and ‘be’ with it. Well, that’s what I have learned. I spent years putting on a brace face, perfecting the ‘smile’, pushing down the real feelings. What a bloody waste of time. It serves no-one. Be what you are. Feel what you feel. It will make you happier in the long run!
