I bet you know the song lyrics to Men At Work’s, ‘Land Downunder’ …. ?
“Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover.”
I am Australian. Therefore I am tough and fearless, right! Well, my Aussie fearlessness was properly challenged today! I ran, and I took cover….
I have had a scurrying in the ceiling above my bed for several months. Being a tough Aussie bird, I decided to ignore it. Just some harmless creatures, going about their nightly activities. “Leave them be”, I thought. And besides, growing up in Australia means I am used to all sorts of creatures living about the house. My job as a young girl was to dust all the Red Back spiders off the garden furniture before we sat down for a BBQ. I never questioned it. My parents seemed perfectly happy having me deal with life threatening arachnids!
Anyhoo, the scuttling above my bed has recently become incredibly loud and has affected my sleep. Now I had reason to deal with it. My sleep is precious! It is hard enough being challenged by a 4yr old in the early hours with various requirements – needing a wee or a glass of water, wanting cuddles because of bad dreams or insisting on being in my bed because of the evil shadows lurking in the corner of his room – the noises above had to be dealt with.
So, I called the pest man (no, not the ex…!) and he promptly arrived in his overalls with an assortment of poisons, traps and ….. peanut butter. I offered him a cuppa and perhaps some bread for his savoury spread…..but apparently the peanut butter was for something else. I braced myself and bravely explained that I was not really bothered by having things living in my ceiling – because I am Australian. I just wanted some quality sleep. He bought it. So did I. After much investigation, he decided I had some harmless house mice and would lay some humane traps. Good. Job done. He asked if I was squeamish because it would be my responsibility to remove the dead mice from each trap. ‘Piece of piss’, I said (sorry, Aussie slang….). I still felt confident. Then he got out the peanut butter. He scooped out a dollop with his index finger. I watched anxiously. He smeared it onto the mouse trap. Oh….right! Clearly! Traps in place, he proceeded to pop some poison into various cracks and crevices and I calmly waited for him to finish. Then…..SNAP! OMG, I jumped! He didn’t hear it. “Mate…..the trap! It’s got a live one….! Quick!”. I was useless. I immediately felt all the blood drain from my legs and felt panic rising. “My legs have gone!” Clearly not as brave as I had thought. He ordered me to find an old carrier bag and showed me how to remove the mouse. I was making a mental note to let the neighbour know that his job for the next few days would be to remove mice from my house because I was having none of it!
Well, drama over, pest man gone, I carried on working. Then….SNAP! OMG, not again! And so soon. Jeeeeezus! I started to feel my legs go again and my skin came over all creepy crawly and then I realised that I am meant to be bloody well DARING & MIGHTY! So, I put on my marigolds, got a double strength carrier bag and bravely took the trap outside to do what Australians do – get the job done! I did it! I shiver at the thought now and know I will have to do it again, but I overcame a fear I didn’t even realise I had until today. Yay!
Well done me! Big pat on back. Is it wine time…?
