I hope so! Today I want to SHOUT about women getting out there, being daring and mighty,  revealing the rockin’ diva that you are and generally taking up more space!!
Even if we don’t do it consciously, so often we woman identify ourselves with groups for our own sense of self. It could be our national or cultural group, our employment group, our family group our religious group or our friendship group that we tend to resonate with on a cellular level. This is all good as there certainly is a lot of comfort to be found in company but does this group-identification ever have a price? Do we inherit the cultural prejudices and conditioning of that group to the detriment of our individuality. Don’t get me wrong, I am not for one minute saying ‘ditch your mates’ but the very nature of group-think can be contra to your true-self.

Many women feel uncomfortable with standing-out, as to step out of our comfort-zone might mean we lack the protection of the tribe. In Britain, restraint and understatement have almost been national characteristics; we may have inherited the post-war mindset of a couple of generations ago which was one of, being careful, being cautious, don’t be decadent, don’t stand out, don’t cause ripples. We might also inherit some religious conditioning like that of Pride being a deadly sin, not to mention that old chestnut the ‘Tall Poppy syndrome’ which can mow you to the ground in an instant. So… we become careful. We make sure that our light is not too bright; that we are not too radical, too out-there, too beautiful, too celebratory of ourselves, too authentic.

Why do we do this? If we stepped up and really celebrated ourselves what do we risk?   If we started that business, if we wore loud colour and kick-ass heels, if we dared to follow our true and authentic dreams, if we lead the way and broke the mould what would the real risk be? Perhaps we might think, ‘I’ll lose my friends’, ‘My family won’t accept me’, ‘I’ll be thought vain or narcissistic’? Maybe we are even afraid that we’ll outshine others and therefore lose their acceptance somehow.

I had a little experience of this last one recently. I was with my business mentor at her LA coaching Academy and had packed my Diane von Furstenberg dress which is a showy little number that I reserve strictly for high days and holidays. Anyway, a girlfriend said, “why don’t you wear it to the conference”? What? In the day? Not to a party? Why would I want to be glamourous in the day? I tried every trick in the book to avoid wearing my DVF but not (and here’s the rub) because I thought I wouldn’t look good, but rather because I didn’t want to stand out, to be too attention-seeking. I didn’t want to be noticed for my body, for my hair, for my height – I didn’t want to show myself off, I didn’t want to shine too brightly and be judged for it.  Well just how limiting is that? In actual fact, I received loads of compliments, the dress raised my vibration and I felt amazing all day; really daring and mighty.

I hereby vow to have the courage to release my fears around how others perceive me- afterall it’s not really my business. The only opinion I can really control is my own and I’m now giving myself permission to shine!

So do it ladies – step into yourselves, take up more space, celebrate yourself. Bigger… louder… more unashamedly feminine. Have the courage to live life on your own terms and if that means something as simple as wearing an outfit that lights you up from the inside and makes you feel great – go do it! Even the big JC said, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you all the way.” (Josh 1.9) and for those of you who are not God-botherers, team D & M are with you all the way too!