Hey Self Lover!
It is my pleasure to continue the series of true stories I have been sharing with you where I reveal how clients are saying NO MORE to anything in their life that doesn’t serve them.
I was speaking with a client recently who is employed at Director level for a bank – so has his work cut out for him. At the same time, he is exploring other passion based business ideas – something that he could eventually leave his job to pursue.
The exploration of business ideas has been both a challenging and hugely liberating journey for him. Challenging because it is drawing him out of his comfort zone. Liberating because the journey has not only had him heal a variety of childhood wounds, it has also moved him from feeling black, trapped, depressed and joyless to feeling alive, excited, optimistic and free.
Cool, right! I am so excited for him.
Even more exciting is to be working with a man who is beginning to understand (and be liberated by) the concept of masculine / feminine energy. I am supporting him in learning how to harness his feminine energy – the energy of surrender, faith, gentleness, compassion, nurturing and trust. It’s about moving away from competition, aggressively pushing and achievement addiction and into a more ‘flow’ state which he is discovering to be a very powerful state indeed!
Recently, as we explored his new business ideas, the subject of fear came up.
A part of him was terrified it would all fail; that he wouldn’t be able to pull it off; that there wasn’t enough time to create it; that he didn’t know what to do next etc etc.
So I asked him, “What does that part of you that is afraid need to know?”
He said, “It needs to know that there is no way we are giving up. That there is no way I am going back to feeling trapped and black. That we are doing this no matter what. That we have to ‘buck up’ and get on with it.”
I asked him how it made that part of him feel to hear those words.
He said, “Like I have to push down and ignore the fear and move forward anyway.”
The way he spoke was full of a very powerful energy. It was the voice of a dictator or very strict teacher or parent. It was a voice that wasn’t available to hear his truth. It was a voice that said “suck it up and push forward”. It was a powerful masculine energy and it wasn’t listening to him.
And while there is a place for sticking two fingers up to fear and moving forward, this wasn’t that time.
He was being called to explore a different, more compassionate way of relating to himself.
He was being invited to speak to the terrified part of himself as if it was a small child. Infact, the scared part of him was his inner child. That little boy that at one time felt like the wheels were coming off – there was chaos and collapse all around him which had him feel utterly unsafe in the world.
His assignment was to talk to his scared inner child. Essentially, it was a chance to re-parent himself with unconditional love.
You see, the ‘strict parent’ voice was very fear based. It was the voice of scarcity and competition that was telling him that if he didn’t suck it up and get on with it now, he would miss his chance.
Throwing fear at fear only creates more fear.
Throwing love at fear dissolves the fear.
Finally being heard and understood dissolves the fear.
Feeling able to TRUST the parental, adult voice rather than be consumed by and scared of it heals and dissolves the fear.
The mean, dictator voice made him recoil – not power forward.
It also killed his inspiration. His vision for his passion based business was stopped dead in it’s tracks.
Hearing a compassionate, gentle, understanding voice actually gave him strength and faith and trust that everything would work out. The loving adult voice could be trusted to take care of him and sort everything out and make his dreams a reality. He could surrender the scared part of him to the loving voice. It meant the fearful part of him was no longer in charge. The loving, adult, capable part of him was given permission to take the reigns and move them towards their dreams.
By the end of our session my client felt truly empowered and re-inspired.
Self love is so powerful and it takes such bravery to learn to do life this way. It’s a totally new modus operandi.
I wonder what you can take away from this story today? Does any of it resonate with you?
Without coaching my client would never have embarked on a journey of discovering his passion based business. He would have remained stuck, uninspired, depressed and soul destroyed (that’s how he felt before we started work together). The coaching journey has challenged him enormously and has brought up a lot of fear and sabotaging beliefs but with me by his side, I have been able to show him brand new ways of understanding and handling his self sabotage – moving him closer and closer to his desires.
On a recent call he told me how proud he felt of himself and said,
“I feel so much more confident and less fearful. I have greater awareness and can see situations differently which makes me feel so much more empowered.”
If you are skirting around the edges and not sure whether you are ready for coaching or if it’s the right move for you, why don’t you jump on a call with me or one of my team to check it out? Sitting in the land of ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’m not sure’ doesn’t feel very empowering. Speak with us and get a firm ‘yes’ or ‘no’ either way. Your truth is your power. So, shall we chat?
Let me know!
P.S. If you are interested to know more about the Self Love Affair Transformational Process and would like to speak to someone at the School of Self Love about how we can support you, click here. When you click on the link below, you will be prompted to answer a few questions. Your answers are important as they help us decide which of our team members will be best for you to speak to.