Hey Self Lover!
I would like to pull back the coaching curtain and start revealing real life stories about women who are finally saying “no more!” to anything in their life that doesn’t serve them.
Let’s start with Cary (not client’s real name as I am protecting her privacy) whom I first worked with exactly a year ago.
I love this woman – she is so brave and trusting of her transformational process.
In our most recent session, Cary was suffering major overwhelm. She was ungrounded, anxious and lost.
Six months previously, she had committed to taking a career sabbatical for 12 months. She has been living her dream – travelling, studying and adventuring. She visited places she’s always desired to go. Took classes she’s always wanted to take. Explored business ideas she’s always been interested to investigate.
Cary returned to her home town for Christmas – the plan was to stop by and have quality time with family and friends before resuming her adventure for another 6 months.
Home was a shock! It sent her into a tailspin. The people she loved most questioned her – “what are you doing?”, “when will you get another job?”, “what are your plans?”. She witnessed ‘everyone’ living as perhaps she ‘should’ be living – car, house, marriage, kids, career, security. She questioned and doubted herself. Surely she should get a job and settle down – after-all, surely that was the only way she could meet a man? Surely she needed to be settled in one place for him to find her? He can’t find her if she’s flitting about the world, never knowing quite where she would be tomorrow, right!?
She wondered if she should quit her planned adventure and settle down now? She was so confused and it caused her much discomfort. Her mind took her deep down a rabbit hole – at one point she even wondered if she should skip waiting to meet her man and have a baby alone to at least tick that off the list! It made her feel like she was going crazy.
Her wobble was her sign!
She was being called to live her truth and to own her current desire for travel and adventure. Together we did some powerful work to ground Cary, get her back into her body (her mind was running rings around her!) and reconnect her with her sense of self. Her assignment was to re-align with her true spiritual nature and from that place to re-align with the truth that life would support her if she followed her heart. Witnessing her reconnect with herself was an honour – instant calm, peace, self trust and self confidence re-emerged. She remembered who she was and totally trusted that she was on track. Her decisions felt safe.
Another assignment opened up for Cary now that she was lovingly connected with her truth.
Ever since she was 15 her dream was to return home, buy a farm with her sister and live in a sustainable community with her sister and her family, her hubby and their chickens! She expected that this is what she would do when her travels had ended.
The dream she had had since she was 15 was falling to pieces. It didn’t feel good for her to commit to buying property with her sister – as much as she adores her sister, they are such different people now. And, it didn’t feel good to live remotely on a farm – she loves her cosmopolitan life – cafe breakfasts, drinks with the girls, her career and the hubbub of the city. So what was she to do?
That dream was who she was – it defined her. It had been a part of her for as long as she could remember. But it wasn’t working out as she had planned for so many years.
Cary’s parents had lived that dream and she thought that she would re-create it with her sister. But like all the sabotaging behavioural habits and limiting beliefs that she had inherited from her parents (without blame) and had bravely let go of through our coaching together it was time to cut the chord on something else that she had inherited. Their dream.
It seems easy and obvious to let go of thoughts and beliefs and ways of seeing yourself and the world that don’t serve you. To let go of that programming. To realise that it belongs to someone else and a part of growing up is to individuate and stand separate as your own unique self. To live your life, as you, unapologetically.
Her dream belonged to a young girl who wanted to re-create her parents lifestyle. It made sense to the 15 year old Cary but the 39 year old Cary now felt utterly at sea. Her connection to someone else’s lifestyle was a huge blind spot.
Together we felt the immense power in her next assignment – to let go of that dream and claim a new one. To claim the woman she is now. To take owning herself to the next level.
How did she choose to do this?
Together we came up with her assignments:
1. Write a letter to her younger self – acknowledging her dream and choosing to lovingly let it go, together. Through the ritual of burning that letter, she would take the hand of her 15 year old self, grieve the lost dream and step forward together into a bigger, more aligned new dream. Her younger self wouldn’t be ignored, made wrong or left behind. Together they would simply evolve.
2. Get our her journal and acknowledge her transformation over the past year. In 12 months she had healed so much and changed a lot. She has become the woman she was meant to be. Taking a year out and honouring that desire was testament to that. By fully acknowledging and owning the woman she is now she is empowered to discover her new desires.
3. Set the intention to be shown her new desires. Through daily connection with her Spiritual self (through journaling, meditation, running, yoga etc) she would remain willing and open to allowing her new, upgraded, more aligned desires to unfold. As an ever growing and evolving woman, her desires have shifted – it’s time to re-focus forward with her new aligned vision. Rather than ‘trying’ to use her intellect to come up with the new desires and life vision, she would allow her inner wisdom to show her the way.
I am so excited to witness what happens next for Cary (If you have read this far, I bet you are intrigued too!?). What I know for sure is that this woman is utterly committed to herself. She has done such incredible work over the past year to release anything not serving her and to layer by layer, step into the woman she was meant to become. This is her next level.
I wonder if any of Cary’s story resonates with you?
Is there anything you desire to let go of?
Can I help you?
My school – The School of Self Love – is dedicated to supporting women in coming home to themselves. We have an array of products available – from books and meditation albums to online home-study programmes to retreats and private coaching. We have something for every stage of your journey.
At the end of our last session, Cary said to me, “It’s time to value myself and to make decisions for me”. She is totally owning it! Are you ready to own you too?
Let me know!
P.S. If you are interested to know more about the Self Love Affair Transformational Process and would like to speak to someone at the School of Self Love about how we can support you, click HERE. You will be prompted to answer a few questions. Your answers are important as they help us decide which of our team members will be best for you to speak to.