{LOVE NOTE} How To Have A Healthy Connection To Others

Today’s Love Note is a continuation of the current series we are running sharing lessons from our acclaimed transformational process – The Self Love Affair.

In conjunction with this series, our Founder & Head Coach, Katie Phillips, is hosting a LIVE one hour training call every Tuesday at 2pm GMT over in our private Facebook Group – The Self Love Hub. Please do join us!

If you have missed any previous lessons or video trainings, no fear! – they are all available here on our Blog.



Over the past few weeks, we’ve discovered that awareness, emotional expression and forgiveness is a path to healing.

Connecting to others is the other path to healing.

We are energetic beings, connected to everything and everyone. Trying to do life alone is to deny who we are. Love and connection is a requirement for survival, remember?

I know, relationships can be scary. It’s hard to be vulnerable and be authentically yourself with others, whoever they are.

That’s where self-love comes in.

When we relate to others from the ego, we relate in fear. This looks like jealousy, judgement, dependency, anxiety, blame, betrayal, need to be right… you get the idea.

When we relate to others from the Spirit, we relate in love. Just as you’re learning to offer yourself compassion, understanding and care, you can learn to offer that to others.

“Your capacity to love yourself also influences how much you let yourself be loved by others.” Robert Holden (Loveability)

As you strengthen your self-love muscle, you’ll develop a deep knowing that you are worthy of giving and receiving love.

You’ll also develop healthy boundaries that ensure you’re surrounded by people who celebrate you for being you, and you can let the rest fall away naturally, with blessings.

Here are some ways to connect to others with love:


Every day this week why not offer someone an act of goodwill?

It could be:

  • smiling at a stranger
  • helping someone with their shopping
  • giving someone a compliment
  • anything!

Give kindness and see what you attract into your life as a result!


Most of us have at least one relationship we’d like to transform. Perhaps you want to be honest with your parents, offer forgiveness and ask for forgiveness in return. Commit to having a healing conversation with that person.

With clearing conversations, it’s important to:

  • Prepare first. Journal around what you want to say and why. How would you like both of you to feel at the end?
  • Plan a time and place where you both feel safe enough to be open and vulnerable.
  • Open your heart. Tune into your Spirit to speak your truth in love. See the other person as an innocent child who’s doing their best with the tools they’ve been given.
  • Let go of your expectations. Allow the other person their feelings and their response, and remember you are not responsible for their happiness.


Do you have a relationship that needs healing but you feel a clearing conversation isn’t possible? You can begin a practice of intentional prayer around it and invite a miracle into your life.

I suggest:

  • Creating a ritual around your daily prayer, like lighting a candle.
  • Saying something along the lines of, “I’m upset and angry but I’m willing not to be. I’m willing to see this person as an innocent Spirit. I’m willing to forgive us both for the roles we’ve played.”
  • Expect a miracle!

I go into more detail on this beautiful topic in this week’s live session (replay above).

Remember, you’re always welcome to share your experience in the comments below.

Love you,

Katie xx

Founder of The School of Self Love 

P.S. I am speaking with women who are serious about creating deep transformation in their lives. My group coaching programme – LIVE LOUDER – is about to start up again. We have run this programme several times with great success. If you would like to talk to me about whether it’s the right fit for you, please click below. Very limited spaces only available!

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Do you dare to love yourself?

Our curriculum responds to the wider needs of women who know in their hearts that they were put on the earth to do something special.

If you are willing to drop your self-sabotaging conditioning, stop listening to the voice of self doubt and exhausting yourself with emotional gymnastics, then your mighty life awaits!

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