WHAT IS SELF LOVE
Self-love is a solid inner foundation that means no matter what is going on around you or how anyone else is feeling, you know fundamentally at your core that you are ok, enough, meant to be here and loved.
Self-love is a commitment to loving yourself enough to overcome any belief, thought, habit or behaviour that is causing you pain or that perpetuates the belief that you are not enough in some way. It invites you to claim and embody the truth that you are enough – always, no matter what.
Self-love invites you to heal on all levels – mind, body, emotions, spirit. Anything that is sabotaging you from feeling good is being called to be exposed, felt, healed and transformed. Essentially you are being invited to move from a state of fear – where life feels hard, you feel physically out of balance and mentally and emotionally out of control – into a state of love – where you feel vibrant, purposeful, masterful and in flow.
Self-love has been at the root of most personal development work for years and its finally becoming a movement in its own right.
Many self-help teachers speak to self-esteem, self-compassion, self-confidence, positive thinking and so on and subscribe to the belief that self-love is at the root of personal happiness, fulfilment and success. However, it is a relatively new phenomenon for transformational coaches, teachers and authors to highlight self-love as THE main subject matter.
Self-Love is the zeitgeist – it is being reclaimed as natural and nurturing instead of vain or narcissistic.
FIVE REASONS WE NEED SELF LOVE
1. MENTAL HEALTH. The newly popular mental health awareness movement is highlighting the fact that there has been a massive rise in depression, anxiety and general mental ill-health in the western world. The western addiction to wanting more while not taking the time and space to appreciate all we have now leads to inordinate amounts of stress which deepens our anxiety, depression and purposeless feelings. As a society we are largely mentally and emotionally out of control which leads us to being reactive to the world and each-other – all of which is fed by fear, scarcity and competition. We feel the calling to connect, collaborate, slow down and lean into the abundance and safety of the Universe because that’s our natural state.
2. INTERNAL DISCONNECTION. Most people are totally disconnected to who they are. They don’t even know who they are, what they really feel, what they want, what their core values and beliefs are. They are so disconnected from their true self – their spiritual nature – because they are addicted to looking outside themselves for significance, approval, acceptance, value, worthiness and love. We look outside of ourselves for proof that we are even meant to be on this planet, having this life. That searching is self sabotaging and it’s contributing to the rise in addictive people pleasing / co-dependancy that I see in nearly 100% of my clients. We are being called to journey within – to deeply know ourselves and to be able to accept ourselves – dark and light, warts ’n all. There is a deep yearning within us to feel ok no matter what is going on around us or how other people are behaving. We crave a solid, empowered, loving inner foundation because that is our natural state.
3. UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS. We are so out of alignment with ourselves that our most important relationships are affected. The people we love most do not get the best of us – infact they are usually the ones who must bear the brunt of our self loathing and lack of emotional and mental mastery. The most successful people I work with – who have the title and the money – are secretly in immense pain because their personal life feels so out of control and they feel so lonely. The desire for open, intimate, real human connection is immense – we all desire that and deserve it. We are being called to learn how to give and receive love and how to feel safe while being vulnerable and authentic with others. Again, that is our natural state and we are searching for that alignment.
4. DISEASE. While we believe our sabotaging and self-harming thoughts, we are making our bodies sick. The mind / body connection is a proven science. When we think thoughts that make us feel bad, it manifests in our body as disease. Emotions that are not expressed become blocked energy in our bodies and create illness. And we wonder why 1 in 3 people are being diagnosed with cancer these days. Our natural state is full, vibrant, good health.
5. THE PATRIARCHY. Men and women alike are exhausted by the push, strive, achieve, compete model of the patriarchy. People are stressed and stretched as a result. They are looking for a new, more empowered, more balanced way of doing life. Indeed, a more loving way of doing life. We feel the call to balance our masculine and feminine energy and in our guts we know the planet would benefit from that alignment too. Our natural state is to be energetically balanced.
Self-Love can restore the balance and bring us back to feeling aligned with our natural, empowered and loving state.
WHERE TO START?
I wrote a book that encourages readers to lead daring and mighty lives by embracing the concept of self-love – ‘The Self-Love Affair. A Woman’s Guide To A Daring & Mighty Life’
The book is a great place to start. It responds to the needs of women who know in their hearts that they were put on the earth to do something special, and who are ready to stop listening to the voice of self-doubt and start loving themselves. Thereby empowering them to live a life they love. To be clear, this book is also totally applicable to men.
The book includes intelligent, practical exercises and activities to help you raise your self-love and give tangible results. Music and meditations accompany the book as free downloads.
The School of Self Love has a selection of online, home-study, group and private coaching programmes plus retreats to support women journeying home to themselves.
– by Katie Phillips : Founder – The School of Self Love