{LOVE NOTE} Why women don’t love themselves

I would like to invite you to ponder this question for a moment:

“What’s worse – the immediate pain of facing your deepest wounds or the pain of life-long unfulfillment?”

Most women don't love themselves

It’s a stark and confronting question isn’t it.

Most women do not love themselves.

Most do not even really know who they are to love.

They are living in survival mode where meeting their basic human needs of certainty, significance, variety and love are obtained from their career or relationships or bank balance.

No-one showed them how to get those important needs met from within.

No-one modelled to them the unlimited resource of self love and how that can deliver the unconditional love and sense of worthiness that they desire and which is their basic human right.

Instead they look outside themselves for these needs to be met. They are exhausted by the constant search of the next thing to tell them that they are enough – whether that’s a promotion, pay rise, text message or compliment.

The constant unconscious search for approval ironically also communicates back to the woman that she is NOT enough. 

After every fix of enoughness is the search for the next fix because like a drug, the fix doesn’t last. It can’t because it’s from an external source.

The fact that she is always searching for her fix is a stark and daily reminder that she must work hard to prove her worth.

I’m calling bull-shit on this way of doing life.

It’s time to say ENOUGH and NO MORE.

There is another way of doing life and it delivers a woman’s right to feeling more than enough in a way that feels really nourishing and nurturing.

It requires COURAGE. 

The journey to a more fulfilling way of doing life starts with looking at why you don’t believe you are loveable and enough – really, truly, deeply.

It’s a vulnerable and exposing journey.

Most women WANT to to be on this journey but they are terrified to know themselves.  They are terrified of what they might find and what might have to change in their life as a result.


Today I stand before you as a woman who looked for proof of her lovability in external sources for way too long. I know the pain of living like that. I was addicted to making sure everyone else was ok so that I could feel ok. I was such a corporate ‘good girl’ always working way more hours that I was paid to do. A man that found me sexually attractive gave me a crazy emotional high. Even my passion for travel and adventure became a way to get attention and approval from the world – “Oh wow, look what Katie’s up to now!”

Every compliment, wink and promotion made me feel like I was meant to be in the world.

I know the exhaustion of always looking for the next fix.

I know the courage it takes to learn a new way of living.

I know the liberation of discovering just how enough I am.

Today I have an incredible relationship with myself where I know deep inside me that no matter what, I am loveable, worthy and meant to be here. 

Every day I love all of me – especially the parts that seem dark, that are still wounded and sometimes still crave external approval.

For me, the pain of life-long unfulfillment was WAY WORSE than the pain of facing myself.

Facing myself actually wasn’t as terrifying as I imagined it to be and with expert support and guidance, it was the game changing making of me and I am unapologetic about that because I want it for other women.

You are meant for more.

We all are.

Getting the support of an expert who has been where you are and is where you want to be instead, is key.

The School of Self Love was set up to support women who want to begin this journey home to themselves. We do that through online courses, group coaching, private coaching and retreats.

We are currently taking applications for ‘Rise’ – a 7 day retreat in Sri-Lanka. You may check it out HERE. > Arrive 25 Nov | Depart 1 Dec

‘Rise’ is a great opportunity for you to get high end transformational coaching and catharsis work at a fraction of the investment. While you are there, you get to experience gloriously warm Sri-Lankan sunshine, stunning beaches and delectable food. Not to mention the divine eco-sanctuary and spa we will be staying in – a private island, surrounded by mangroves, all to ourselves. Absolute privacy and peace. I can’t wait. Would you like to join me? Find out more by clicking HERE.

Love you,

Katie xx

Founder of The School of Self Love

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Do you dare to love yourself?

Our curriculum responds to the wider needs of women who know in their hearts that they were put on the earth to do something special.

If you are willing to drop your self-sabotaging conditioning, stop listening to the voice of self doubt and exhausting yourself with emotional gymnastics, then your mighty life awaits!

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