I wonder if you can relate to this…
When I was in my most miserable relationships, the key pieces that kept causing me pain were lack of trust / honesty / intimacy and not feeling seen / heard / valued.
Here’s the kicker – as much as I wanted to blame him (and sometimes there was good reason!) and make him wrong or selfish or uncaring the truth was it was my own lack that was the problem.
I lacked self trust because I didn’t know myself and therefore couldn’t trust myself.
I didn’t want to be really honest with myself around who I was and how I felt because I didn’t know what that level of honesty would mean for my life and that brought up shame and fear.
I had zero intimacy with myself because I didn’t value myself enough to even want to know myself to that degree.
I wasn’t seeing or hearing me – I was way too focussed on external sources for my validation. I didn’t know that I needed to get my significance, attention and love from myself first so I put impossible expectations on him (and others).
Clearly I wasn’t valuing myself – if I did, I wouldn’t be in the relationship to start with. We attract who we are. Energetically, you will call in people and circumstances that reflect what you believe about yourself. Frankly, I was totally available to be cheated on, lied to and not valued because unconsciously I didn’t believe I was worth more than that.
All the pieces I needed to heal within myself – trust, intimacy, value etc – all stemmed from childhood conditioning and programming. In other words, that stuff wasn’t modelled to me strongly and so it didn’t feature easily in my life. I had to learn it.
Learning a new way of doing life from a place of self trust, self worth and self confidence required deep healing first.
I invested in high end coaches and I healed.
The result of that commitment to myself? I called in the love of my life. Two years later to the day we were married. I’ve never known such trust, honesty and intimacy and I’ve never felt more seen, heard and valued. I attracted him into my life because I was able to be all of that for myself first. Finding your soul mate is an inside job.
Calling in anything you desire to your life is an inside job!
I am passionate about inspiring women to heal whatever it is within them that is destroying their experience of themselves or their life. You DO have a choice. You CAN have and feel what you desire. It take work and requires support.
If you are ready to look at the truth of you, heal the pieces within that are causing you to keep attracting the same pain and dissatisfaction into your life, let’s chat.
The Rise Retreat is coming too and it’s a great opportunity for you to get high end transformational coaching and catharsis work at a fraction of the investment. While you are there, you get to experience gloriously warm Sri-Lankan sunshine, stunning beaches and delectable food. Not to mention the divine eco-sanctuary and spa we will be staying in – a private island, surrounded by mangroves, all to ourselves. Absolute privacy and peace. I can’t wait. Would you like to join me? Find out more by clicking HERE.
Founder of The School of Self Love
PS. As always, you are welcome to get in touch with me personally to discuss how The School of Self Love can support your journey home to you. Just CLICK HERE to schedule a call with me.